armina Villaroel and Gelli de Belen shared the secret to nurturing a friendship that has evolved into family.

Carmina Villaroel and Gelli de Belen have forged a friendship rare in tinsel town.

"She says I am maarte," pouts Carmina. Gelli, who is seated, nearby, reacts, "She's maarte in a nice way. You know the type who is afraid of the doctor, scared of the dentist. She complains when she is sick but she refuses to take medicines, kasi nga maarte."

"But she has changed," Gelli continues. "She changed as we all do when we become mothers." "I take my hats off to her," Carmina chirps within Gelli's earshot. "She's a hands-on mom. She has no yaya. It's just her and Ariel (Gelli's, husband, singer-actor Ariel Rivera). I wish I were like her, super hands-on talaga."

STARTING YOUNG
Only bosom buddies of long standing, in fact, could talk about each other with such authority, fondness, and respect. Carmina and Gelli were star-struck teeners dipping their dainty feet in showbiz when they first met in the mid showbiz debut as Jollibee girl in TV commercial, while Gelli, who is two years older, had just joined her older sis Janice to invade moviedom.

Pixie-face Gelli and the mestiza Carmina hit it off right away. They appeared together in several primetime TV shows (Regal Family and Tropang Trumpo, among others) as well as in various glittery showbiz functions, but never in a movie because they belonged to rival home studios-Carmina with Regal and Gelli with Viva.

Still, Carmina continues, "we sort of grew up together," relishing juvenile joys over makeup, clothes, bags, whatever was trendy. Seriously, they aspired for higher education, enrolling at a sectarian university for a college degree. Juggling showbiz and studies was a tough ac, and they both quit within the first semester.

Then there were matters of the heart that one unburdened to the other in absolute confidentiality. "Ang daming nangyari-first boyfriend, first heart-break. Then I got married, and she got married, then I got separated," Carmina remembers.

"We feel the hurt that the other one goes through," Carmina continues. "But confronting the person that caused the pain is taboo," she maintains. "That's too childish, but do we make commentaries [among ourselves] about the person's behavior. That's ho far we go."

What happens is that one forms a comfort zone for the other, thus cushioning the impact of the anguish. For instance, when a pregnant Carmina, who was estranged from her husband Rustom Padilla, hied off to the US with partner Zoren Legaspi, she maintained links with the Philippines though e-mails with Gelli, who was then pregnant with her second child. Gelli had Julio in November 2000, while Carmina's twins Cassandra and Maverick were born in January 2001.

Years before that, Gelli got embroiled in a silly love triangle with songbird Regine Velasquez who was reportedly singing romantic music with Ariel, then Gelli's boyfriend. Carmina rallied around Gelli with her constant, reassuring presence. Just like that.

ALL FOR THE KIDS
Their friendship, in fact, is anchored on their love for the family. "We are very clannish," Carmina declared. Gelli agrees: "We have very clear priorities when it involves the family."

Gelli's family includes Ariel and their two sons, Joaqui, five, and Julio, three. Actor Zoren Legaspi, and the twins Cassandra or Casy, and Maverick, or Mavy, both three years old, comprise Carmina's nuclear household.

"I am very lucky to have a husband who is so hands-on," Gelli says. Ariel's talents apparently extend beyond singing as he excels just as well in child-rearing chores. Gelli proudly enumerates: "He washes their puwets. He feeds them, cuts their toenails, cleans their ears, gives them their vitamins, and acts as referee when the boys fight."

At the onset of their marriage, Ariel and Gelli agreed on basics in parenting no yayas for the kids, one parent must stay home while one ekes out a living. For Gellie, pregnancy, childbirth, and caring for the infant Joaqui meant three years as stay-at-home mom. She breasfed her firstborn for 12 months. "I didn't have life," she laughs. But they saved on milk, sterilizers, and bottles. She breast-fed Julio only for eight months, as she had resumed her movie and TV career by then.

But the arrangement for a stay-at-home parent remains, ordained this time by the work schedule of either parent. If work they must on the same day, Gelli and Ariel bring the kids to their maternal grandmother, who delights having them around with sister Janice's five children.

Aside from making movies, Zoren and Carmina find raising fraternal twins Casy and Mavy a major preoccupation. Not that it was entirely unexpected. Carmina's grandmother has a twin, and the family expected a set of twins among Carmina and her three sisters. The "task" fell on Carmina. "That was the running joke in the family," she laughs.

Casy and Mavy were born weighing 6.7 lbs and 6.9 lbs respectively. Carmina gained 40 lbs in the process, which she lost by going to the gym religiously. A confessed worry wart, Carmina says post-partum worries about the future took a toll on her. "I had mild anorexia, but I'm okay now," she says. She started eating upon Zoren's puddings. "He said I was so thin I looked like a lizard," she laughs.

Who do the twins look like? Casy, Carmina says, "is super mini me," while Mavy looks exactly the way her brother did in his baby photos. And their personalities? "Casy is all big emotions, all expressions. She's super friendly, very talkative. Mavy is shy, the quiet type but could be playful once her gets used to the people around him."

THE MOVIE OF THEIR LIVES
Should the limelight beckon, Carmina and Gelli only have one fervent wish for their kids: that they finish their studies first. Meantime, the two young moms continue trading tips on parenting, early education, nutrition, and what have you, firming up their friendship along their way.

Actually, Gelli says, their circle of friendship also includes actresses Aiko Melendez and Candy Pangilinan. "It's a very tight friendship that binds us and our families. The ties have criss-crossed in the sense that we are godmothers to each other's kids. No choice na ito," Gelli laughs.

Already, they plan to immortalize that friendship in the manger they know best.

One sunny noon last May, Carmina, Gelli, Aiko, and Candy got together for the weekly chitchat. The topic hopped from benign to burning issues of the day. Then someone suggested doing a movie on friendship. "Our friendship," says Carmina. "Wouldn't it be fun to star in a movie about friendship, with us playing ourselves?" Given the chance and the capital, Carmina says, "I would want to produce that movie." A fitting tribute, indeed, to a friendship that has endured the intrigues and vagaries of filmdom.

HOW THEY DISCIPLINE
A good spanking on the butt works, according to showbiz moms Gelli de Belen and Carmina Villaroel.

"It can still fear in a child, and it makes them realize what's right and wrong," says Gelli, mother of two boys, Joaqui, five, and Julio, three.

"Zoren uses the belt on the kids, but only after three warnings," says Carmina, mother of three-year old twins Casy and Mavy. "I believe in spanking because it work with me with a belt, I learned to behave." Carmina says she remembers the spanking, but not the infraction that led to it.

For Gelli, spanking should be the last resort. However, reaching that decision is easier said than done. "That is always my dilemma. If I don't do it now, when? It might be too late," she says. "Ngayon, tingin na lang, alam na nila."

Also, Carmina believes in spanking but only with the use of the hands, such that there is direct skin contact. The belt, she feels, should be used only in cases of extreme misbehavior, such as "when they shout at us, or when one of them throws a toy at the other."

But again, only after three warnings. Nowadays, "pag kinuha yung belt, takot na sila," she says.

"I want them to fear something, or someone," Carmina explains. "Spanking is solely our prerogative, not the yayas." - -