iko Melendez: Free Again

Her showbiz career is in full swing again, she's one of the most outstanding councilors in City Hall, and she's looking as svelte as ever. Forget the old Aiko. Meet the new "Ms. Bombshell Melendez."

THEY say that to be filled, one must first be empty. And there was a time Aiko Melendez was as drained as they come. Over the past couple of years, the public has watched her confront ridicule about her joining politics, confront news about her ailing marriage, balloon from her once-fit figure into Rubenesque proportions, then cope with rumors about Jomari's affair with Ara Mina. Today, Aiko Melendez says she's "better than before," and do we need to say it shows?

At 27, mother to four-year old Andrei and councilor of the third district of Quezon City, the actress is giddy about her newfound freedom. "What's the title of this article?" she asks, way before the interview has started. "'Free Again'?" At the time of this shoot, she's technically been a "free woman" for barely a month (the decision of her annulment from Jomari Yllana was released June 12, Independence Day), and, she admits, she's still trying to get used to the idea of being single again. "I'm just trying to enjoy having found my identity again," she smiles. "I'm trying to enjoy every bit of my being Ms. Bombshell Melendez." Expect unexpected one-liners like this when you're speaking to the award-winning actress. That is, expect them now.

How are you now?
Better. Better than before.

You've been through a lot over the past year. Can you tell us how you have coped with everything?
When my marriage was going down the drain, my direction was politics. So that meant a lot of people were waiting for my downfall. They were judging me already-"What right do you have to enter politics? You're just an actress! And now your marriage is in a mess!" It served as a challenge for me to prove them all wrong, and to tell them th:it "Hey, I'm not just a pretty face. Just because I'm an actress, doesn't take away what I know-and what I know is that I want to help people.

So when I set my mind on that-that I just want to help people, that I just want to focus my attention on my son, Andrei, and be a public servant-from then on, tuloy tuloy na.

This is maybe one of God's reasons why He put me in public service. When I was going through the shitty things in my life, He put me here so hindi ako malulunod sa mga problema ko. He designed my life so I would shift focus.

I asked God, "Why me? Bakit ko kelangan daanan 'to?" Then I started asking myself-why not me? Look at the people you're serving. Some of them have nothing to eat. Ang problema ko lang, nambabae asawa ko. Gusto ko rin ba na magutom ako? Then I started to see that I still was lucky; my son was with me. No matter what my husband did, my son is mine forever--and that's something his womanizing could not change.

How did you find out about Ara?
You know how it is in showbiz, di ba? You hear rumors, in passing, if you have a movie or sitcom together, because that's what will spice it up, to be involved with your leading lady. But this rumor was consistent, they didn't have work together, and the rumors didn't want to stop. So I talked to Ara-she calls me "Ate." I asked her, "Are you having an affair with Jomari?" "No," she said. So I said, "I'm gonna ask you again, then I'm not gonna bother you anymore. Are you having an affair with Jomari?" "No ate, I'd never do that to you."

Can you take us on a history of your break-up?
Aside from the fact that there was a third party, hindi na pareho ang mga wavelength namin ni Jomari. We were beginning to have different views on things. Hindi na kami nagkakasundo-kelangan may mas mataas palagi. We all know that it's written in the Bible that men are supposed to lead women, but I was losing my identity. That's not in the Bible. My self-confidence, self-esteem nawala lahat. Biglang nawalan ako ng mundo.

I felt so ugly. I forgot to take care of myself.

Even your son?
Lahat! Career? When offers would come,
tatanggihan ko. Ayoko nyan. And I told myself, how can you say you love this person (Jomari) when you don't love yourself? It may sound cliche but it's true. You've got to learn to love yourself first before you can say that you've found your true love. True love is unconditional, right? But it doesn't mean to say that you should forget yourself.

How has your life perspective changed since the break-up?
I used to pray to God like He was my pare. I'm not religious or a fanatic. But one time, in the Adoration Chapel in White Plains, biglang may nakita akong visionparang sinasabi Niya, 'Kapal mo, Aiko, bakit ka ganyan sa Akin makipag-usap.' So now, I still talk to Him like He's my friend, but with more respect.

My mom is a Jehovah's Witness, a preacher, so at home, we're required to read the Bible. I never wanted to-I always thought, kung may God, bakit ganito? One day, my mom accidentally left her Bible on the piano. I remember a friend telling me to try asking a question, then opening a page to see if God would answer it.

What did you ask?
Naku, dapat di ko sinasabi 'to, pero sige na nga...I asked: "God, and na ba talaga nang:yari sa akin?"

And what verse did you turn to?
Psalms. I can't remember yung exact number, but ganito yung pagkaintindi ko sa sinabi Niya:. He was telling me "You, as a wife, should learn to appreciate life; life doesn't stop at a failed marriage. You may have overlooked something." I think He was talking about my faith, 'cause that struck me. Instead of always questioning what was happening to me, I should have remembered what I was missing: my faith.

Humingi ako ng sign, whether Jomari and I should stay together as husband and wife. Kinabukasan, nakita ko yung condom sa kotse.

Some women say that the process of going through an annulment is more painful than that annulment itself. Was it the same for you?
Yeah. That time na when I had to go through the annulment, the hassle of going to court, having to remember all your traumatic experiences, and telling that to someone you didn't even know, the judge, someone you weren't even close to-going back to that pain was, oh my God...I don't want to go through this again. But you know, I always believe that (even if there were other people telling me how I should feel), na dapat eto yung gagawin mo para hindi burden yung I nafi-feel mo, hindi sila ang makakapag-gaan ng nararamdaman mo. Ikaw lang ang makakagawa noon. It's a self-healing process. I've always believed in that.

I can't really say that when I got the annulment, I was really, really happy, because I had mixed emotions. Maybe because of the finality of something that started maganda naman. In fairness, it staned beautiful. But it was the finality of "wala na, tapos na" (that had me feeling confused).

The first time I went into the hearing, I was in limbo. I didn't know whether I was to go through with it or to back out. But when I sat down and I looked at J omari, I knew that this wasn't the same guy I married a couple of years ago. There. When I let go of my feelings, I was able to get through it. I don't want to say my feelings for him died-they just transferred to another level.

Who helped you get over that difficult stage in your life?
I'm thankful for my family, especially my mom. Now I appreciate her more. Before when she would tell me "alam mo, anak, hinay hinay lang," I was like, "ano ba mom, give me a break." But now that I have a son, I appreciate my mom more, and I thank her. And if only I could rewind all (the events) in my life, I wish I could've listened to her more.

Nung lumabas yung decision ng judge, which was June 12, Independence Day, tinext ako ng lawyer ko; "Congratulations, Ms. Aiko Melendez." Sabi ko, anong ibig sabihin nito? Sabi niya, "you're free." Naiyak ako. Tanong ko sa mommy ko, "Ma, nababaliw na ba ako? I asked for this annulment, and here I am, crying." My mom said it was natural to feel these. mixed emotions, kasi hindi mo naman matatawad yung
pinagsamahan namin ni Jomari.

How do you answer your son's questions about the absence of his father?
You know, there's one thing I learned from this experience of mine-and that does never ever underestimate your child. There was a time when Andrei would be asking, "where's Dada?" and I kept on lying, I just kept on lying. 'You know, dada's working, so he can give us milk and have a good life."

Then there was one day, a Sunday, I was driving. Ganon ang bonding namin ng baby ko, we drive around, and we just talk. Suddenly, he told me, "Mama, no matter what happens, I love you."

Parangpelikula. I didn't know how to react, what to say. I asked him, "Why?" He said, "Nothing. I just wanted you to know that I love you and hindi kita iiwan." Ayan na, umiyak na ako. And then I told my son. "I'm sorry if mama had to lie. You may be four years old but I underestimated your capabilities, your sensitivity as a child. Mama and Dada can't stay in one house, because if you see mama and dada fighting, would you be happy?" "No, mama. Basta tandaan mo, I'll love you no matter what."

Does Jomari see Andrei often?
No nga eh. That's one thing that saddens me. I'm not even asking him to support Andrei financially kasi kaya ko pa naman. But in terms of giving him time, I wish he could, because Andrei is looking for a father figure. My brother is there, but a father is different. I had a stepfather, and it was still different. There can only be one father, and that's Jomari. I may be lucky to find someone (who will love Andrei as his own), but I wish that as long as Jom is still there, he would do his part. I will never, ever speak against Jomari kay Andrei. Ayokong masira yung magandang pagtingin niya sa Daddy niya. Gusto ko nga na magkatrabaho kami ni Jomari sa pelikula para kahit hanggang doon lang, makita kami ni Andrei na magkasama. Pero if Andrei comes of age and asks me kung anD yung reason (ng pagkahiwalay namin), I will give him an honest answer. But not until he asks me.. .pero alam mo, pag nakikita niya si Ara sa TV, pinapatay niya.

But you look great now. Can you share with us your diet details?
Tuna, tuna, tuna! I don't eat anything but tuna. Ang hirap ibalik kasi ng self-esteem ko! Bumalik lang siya nung naghiwalay kami ni Jomari, when I started to take care of myself again. I went on a diet, tapos nung napapansin ng mga tao na "Hey, pumayat ka," I started feeling good. Tapos sinabayan ko na ng exercise. So sinasabi rin nila na maganda yung pagkapayat ko, hindi bagsak. 'Yon. It felt good.

Is Herbert Bautista or Mayor Sonny Belmonte courting you?
Habababa! Funny yan, pampa-break ng serious questions. No, Mayor has never courted me. That rumor started because he's biyudo and, at the time when I was still running, I was hiwalay. Nahiya tuloy ako kay Mayor-ang taas ng respeto ko sa kanya. Ni hindi ako makapunta sa office niya kasi parang all eyes were on you. But after a while, I got used to it, so I don't let it bother me anymore. Eh kung talagang girlfriend niya ako, Ms. Quezon City na ako-eh they all see naman how hard I work for all my projects.

About (Vice Mayor) Herbert (Bautista), hindi naman siguro maganda kung sa akin manggagaling na (he's courting me). Let's just say there are signs (of interest). Maybe I can say that his sending me flowers is his way of showing me that I'm special to him.

Do you think you'll ever get married again?
People might think na just because I got an annulment, manhater na ako. No naman. I think that I'm wiser now, and I don't regret having gone through that annulment because it made me a better person. I can say now without batting an eyelash, that once I get into another relationship, I'll see to it na hindi ko pababayaan. Once may marinig ako-kasi siguro part ng pagkukulang ko is I just let the rumor pass, I was in denial- I'll sit down with my husband or my boyfriend and I'll say, let's talk. Hindi ko pababayaan maagaw siya ng iba.

Are you happy?
I'm happy, but I could be happier. I'm just trying to enjoy having found my identity again. I'm trying to enjoy every bit of my being Ms. Bombshell Melendez. Only when I started to appreciate what I had and all my blessings-number one of which is my son, who inspires me and makes me want to do things he'll be proud of-did that reflect in my aura, in me. So when people see me, they know too. Ah, she's at peace na. - -