conversation with Regine Velasquez about dreams, loneliness, and nasty rumors.

Typhoon Onyok lashed the country hard the day of the cover shoot, flooding some areas and forcing the suspension of classes in Metro Manila. But the rains, like the hardships and the intrigues, did not succeed in keeping Regine Velasquez away. True to form, Asia's Songbird who is known for her punctuality, was not just on time but came to this interview 10 minutes early.

Wearing a bright red T-shirt and a pair of form-fitting denim pants, Regine looked slimmer and smaller in person than onscreen. She was also quite subdued and quiet, though friendly and cooperative enough, repairing to her corner in between shoot segments to retouch her makeup and fix her hair. Yet she would transform each time she faced the camera, commanding everyone's attention with her electrifying presence. In record time, the shoot was over, and Regine and group, including father Mang Gerry, stepped out into the rain to weave their way back home to Bulacan.

Regine later admitted that she was tired. No wonder, once you get a peek at her punishing schedule. Last month she wrapped up commitments that included concert shows, roads shows, and a movie (a remake of Captain Barbell, where she has a special participation). There are also her regular GMA-7 programs SOP and Search for a Star. This month and for the rest of the year you sill also see and hear her on stage, from being a guest in Ogie Alcasid and Lani Misalucha's concerts to holding her own shows at the Mandarin Oriental and elsewhere.

Seeing her in action, it's not hard to see where lies Regine's secret of success. The multi-platinum artist and winner of the MTV Asia award for Best Philippine Artist in 2002, among other awards and accolades, openly shares her formula: Hard work, hard work, and more hard work (aside of course from loads of talents and the support of a loving family).

Yet Regine is not all career woman. The star remains a doting daughter, a caring sister, and 33, a woman who dreams of a romantic wedding. Here, she tells us how 17 years in tinsel town has changed her (or not), her secret wish and what, if ever, would make her rest those powerful chords.

How different is your life before and your life now?
Regine: Siyempre my life now is more comfortable. As you know, rags to riches nga ang story ko. There was a lot of struggle. Not a lot of people believed in me when I was starting. As a matter of fact a lot of people were trying to put me down but I didn't stop and I kept going. I knew that I'd be able to go somewhere. Of course I didn't expect my career would turn to be like this. But I always thought that I'd be somebody someday-that was my dream.

Madaming test, madaming struggles, but I was very patient and I worked really, really hard. Plus my parents helped me. My father was always with me. Though all the hardships they were with me, sharing whatever it is-the disappointments, the feeling not-so-pretty. A lot of people didn't think I was pretty or good enough.

Why do you think people saw you that way?
Ganun naman talaga eh. I think they thought I was a good singer but I didn't really fit. Ang uso noon sila Kuh Ledesma, Joey Albert, and they were all divas. And suddenly there I was, 16 years old, awkward. They didn't really know where to put me. How could I act like a diva when I was only 16?

How were you able to overcome that?
I just really worked hard. I listened to what people would tell me, that way I would learn. As far as my looks are concerned, I read magazines and just kept reading and tried to make mayself better. Even the way I speak. Kasi hindi nga ako masyadong nag-I-English nun kasi galling nga ako sa Bulacan. So even the way I was talking to people, very observant lang ako, and then little by little I was learning.

GETTING PERSONAL WITH REGINE
On her dream wedding
"I'd like to be married in another place with my family and my husband's family. Actually kung OK ng alang kaming dalawa lang. You know, like in Venice, the two of us-it'd be so romantic, probably like a dream wedding for me, and God. I don't like grand weddings, there are too many people and cameras everywhere.

Her take on the need to get married
"It's year 2003. You know, modern medicine has been able to make miracles for a lot of women. I know before in the olden times priority yun for women when you reach a certain age. It's like society dictates for us to be a housewife, be a mother, but not anymore now. Women are more independent, career-oriented. Also I think we're very blessed being born in this era because we're given so much opportunity.

"So why would I be pressured just because society wants me to get married at a certain age? It's not like that anymore, right? And it's a personal choice. If I don't feel like it's the right time to settle down, why force it just because my biological clock is ticking?

"But it's definitely going to come. Well, I've been going out actually. I'm taking my time, it's really not too late for me."

Busy as can be
You're into singing, acting, hosting and how you have your own record label, Songbird Music. How do you manage to do all that?
I started to do other things because I was getting bored, so I went into movies. I was lucky because Viva got interested in me and I got really good projects. Sa acting parang marami pa akong kailangang matutunan. I still call myself a reluctant actress because wala pa ko dun eh. I'm still a singer, first and foremost.

How hard do you work? Can you quantify?
Twenty-four hours a day! (Laughs) Di naman. Ang trabaho ko naman at least nine hours a day, dpending kung ano ang gagawin. Kung concerts matagal. Kung mg interview, pictorial, three to fours day. Most of the time kung ganun lang yung gagawin ko may lagari naman ako. Like this September [the time of this interview] I'm gonna be dead because I have so many things to do. I have shootings and I have all these shows, parang wow. Plus I'm gonna be shooting a movie. Then in November and December, I'm shooting another movie with Aga (Muhlach) and Judy Ann (Santos) under Viva Films. I'm so gonna have a concert series in December. So lahat ng weekends, show; lahat ng weekdays, shooting. That's hard because sometimes ang shooting 24 hours.

Don't you get burned out with your grueling schedule?
Actually, right now, medyo pagod ako talaga. Since last year medyo parang tamad akong mag-work. Parang wala akong masyadong drive kasi nga I'm so tired. I just really need to take a break, I suppose. Plus it also doesn't help that people-whatever you do-they try to put you donw. No matter how much you work, no matter how much you prove yourself, there's always this little dot na kailangang ipamukha nila sa yo. I'm so tired of that. I love my job, I love my career. I guess I'm just tired of all the bullshit.

Was there ever a time when you felt like giving up?
It happens. Sometimes you feel like that especially pag masyadong malaki ang pressure and nobody's happy with your work or whatever. Yung negative things lang ba. But like I said I don't let that put me down. I'm a singer and that's my job. I love to sing and if I'm gonna kumbaga mapapababa lang o mapapatungo lang ako ng ibang tao by just telling me I'm not so good then parang di ako masyadong naniniwala sa kakayahan ko. Di ba parang ang pangit? And a lot of kids are looking up to me and it would not be fair if I just give up. I wouldn't wanna put them down too.

If ever I stop singing, if ever I resign, it will be because I'm happy already. It will be because I have a family already to take care of, not because I'm tired of it. It's because I have nothing else to offer.

On mixing marriage and career
"I don't think I can mix career and being a mother 'coz I know that's a full-time job, being a mom. But I would like to do something with myself still even if I'm already married. But I don't know if I'm going to be in the same business. I haven't really decided yet. Puwede pa rin naman akong kumanta but definitely it's not gonna be my priority anymore."

Quite time
How do you relax?
I watch movies. Ilike doing that with all my sisters. Well, I've been trying to go out with my friends too, like Jaya and my best friend Grace. We eat out. It's actually rare that I have a rest day but when I do I really have fun. Kung sa isang king meron akong isang araw I stay at home and be with my family and watch TV and listen to CDs and read books.

You're basically a homebody?
Yeah. I actually don't have a nightlife. I don't really enjoy it, but I do try to go out.

In what ways have you changed?
Siguro nagbago lang ng konti kasi medyo naging sosyal na yung taste ko, medyo I can afford to buy the things that I like or the things that I see in the magazines. Siguro nag-evolve na rin ako as a person, nag-mature ako. Mas marami lang akong na-experience, mas marami lang akong nakita na.

Future dreaming
If there's anything you'd like to give yourself, what would that be?
One thing that I wanna do for myself is take a vacation, like a long vacation, and go back to school,, finish college.

Anything you'd like to improve about yourself?
I'd like to be more outgoing. I try to be.

Are you shy?
Hindi ako masayadong magaling… Siguro pag nakabihis ako and I'm being Regine Velasquez, I can handle it. But on a normal day with my normal self parang nahihiya pa rin ako. In fact I don't really like to go out much so I wanna be able to do that for myself.

When you say go out…
Like go out on dates and meet people.

Is it hard because you're a celebrity or because you're shy?
I think it's both. I don't like being stared at but weird naman na hindi kasi nga I'm in this business.

Do you ever feel lonely?
Yeah, it comes. Lahat naman eh me ganung mood, di ba? Actually I get that once a month. When you get your period, you really get emotional. It's so weird and I hate it, but I don't like to dwell on it because I think I am so blessed. God has given me so many gifts. He has given me a wonderful family, friends, a wonderful career that I never really even though I'd like this. What the heck am I gonna be complaining about, di ba? Hello! So when I get the blues once in a while I think of all the things God has given me and most of the time it lifts me up. I came from nothing and now I have so many things.
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