nce there was a myth. It had a name I won't ever forget – Diamond Star.

I knew the myth when I was growing up. As a child, she was my idea of perfection. I would tag my mother along to see her movie. All of them – Inday Bote , Inday sa Balitaw , Maria Went to Town , Mga Kuwento ni Lola Basyang , Hinugot sa Langit , Batang Quiapo , and more to mention.

Consequently, my mother saw most of her movies too, and she became fond of me getting fond of her. She would see her through my eyes. She liked Maria, but no as much as I liked her. I knew there were other fans like me, but I've always claimed to be Maria's biggest fan. Deep in my heart, I really was. Maricel Soriano made the child I was very happy. That I know for sure.

For me, that was all she was. An actress. A star. A dream. An inspiration. A light in the dark. Someone I wouldn't have the chance to shakes hands with and tell my stories to. Someone I wouldn't know. A legend. A stranger. A myth. She represented all things that were too distant to reach. If I was to believe only in things I could touch and see, she wasn't real. She was real to Roderick Paulate who had worked with her more than a few times. She was real with William Martinez and Randy Santiago who became her leading men in the movies, to Snooky Serna and Dina Bonnevie who were Regal Babies like her. She was real to Dolphy and Nida Blanca who became her family in TV's John & Marsha . But not in my world.

She may not be real but she was an important part of my life when I was eight years old. Nevertheless, Maricel would only be a picture in my mind. Just an imagination. A myth.

There was another myth surrounding her persona. Everyone used to call her “Taray Queen.” I think everyone still thinks she is. Whether that theory of most people is true or merely the perception of insecure people wanting their backs scratched by her but didn't get it, I was interested to find out.

THE MYTH THAT COMES TO AN END

MY interview with Maricel was at two in the afternoon at Dominique James studio in Quezon City . All psyched up, I was prepared to unravel the truth. Three days ago, I was given the assignment and I knew that job was meant for me. I knew all the cosmic forces were at work, opening the door of opportunity, giving me the chance I have been waiting for all these years.

Three, two one.

Maricel Soriano, the movie star, came in. I was nearly losing it. It was surreal you wouldn't understand it. The Diamond Star was blinding me with her light. She said hit to everyone and shook my hand. I could hear the hallelujah chorus.

In a blink of an eyes, she is a sight to behold – still fresh and mesmerizing after all those years of hard work.

The photo shoot gave me enough time to trace her movements and observe her beauty and balance, both on and off cam, how she walked and talked, how she entertained everyone on the set, how she constantly put a smile on her face and how she made us all comfortable with euphemisms that say, “I'm not a star, Come closer to me. You may hold my hand, I don't lie.”

But it was time to get down to today's task at hand – the truth.

After four quick layouts and three outfit modifications, she was finally there, up-front, and munching on her snacks.

She would face me. Any my questions. But she wasn't in a melting pot. I was. She faced me with a half-sized homemade sandwich wrapped in foil and hot coffee from a thermos.

Sino si Maria after 34 years in showbusiness?

“Si Maricel pa rin. Ako pa rin ako.

Ako ‘yung dating bata na maraming puwedeng maging interpretasyon ang tao. May perception ang bawat tao. Kung ano ‘yung perception nila, nasa sa kanila ‘yon. For me, ako pa rin ito.”

After a few minutes, I was beginning to see through her and find my answers.

THE REAL MARICEL

THE myth was a person. It isn't true. Maricel is all-real – made of flesh and bone, pain and all. I wasn't drama. She isn't what you see on television; she guards herself when threatened; she is ruled by her defenses; she fights; she takes control; she is controlled by her emotions; she reacts when she is picked; she gets scared; she gets fascinated; she gets irritated; she craves for little pleasures; she cares, she doesn't care; she says sorry; she agrees; she disagrees; she can give you a look with a thousand meanings. Like you and me, she is all real, flawed and human. No pretensions, no false image.

With all respect and hardcore honesty to the one and only Diamond Star., that was the perception and responsibility she entrusted to me. She wouldn't care less if people who'd read this would be persuaded by it. She knows people would always have perceptions about her and she respects it.

“As a person, everybody cares about what other people say, but up to a certain time or up to a certain age. What matters most is who you are and what you are in God's eyes. Does it really matter if they say that you're this or that? Sana bigyan natin sila ng mga salamin para makita nila ang mga sarili nila bago nila ako i-judge sa akin,” she says.

There was but one thing superhuman about her. “I don't get bore. I love talking. If there's nobody there, I pray.”

AN ACTRESS OF THE FIRST CALIBER

FOR an actress her caliber, Maricel is beyond category. She may have invited us to laugh with her tomboyish humor and sarcastic see-saw of her eyebrows (check her movies back in the ‘80s and her weekly ABS-CBN sitcom Bida Si Mister, Bida Si Misis with Cesar Montano ) but she blows us away the next moment with betrayal, grief, oppression, vengeance and rage spelled on her face.

That's her irony, her edge, her undeniable talent – a baffling mixture of old school comedic relief (popularized by Sampaguita and LVN Pictures, as in movies Taray at Teroy , Gorio en Tekla and Anak ni Waray , Anak ni Biday ) and stomach-twitching grit and tearfest ( Saan Darating Ang Umaga , Kaya Kong Abutin ang Langit , Inagaw Mo ang Lahat sa Akin , Separada , Abandonada ). It is for this reason others get the wrong signal.

They may be intimidated by her intensity. But when she looks straight into your eyes, you should know it's her way of showing her sincerity.

Doesn't she miss doing variety shows? She used to have one.

“After a while, ‘pag nakagawa ka na ng sitcom, ng variety show, ng pelikula, mapa-drama, mapa-action, mapa-comedy, isa na lang ang papasok sa isip mo – nagpapasalamat ka kasi nagawa mo na.”  

STAR IN OUR MIDST

OVER the years, fans like me have reconciled with her in soul and spirit. We understand Maricel like no one else does. This is interview has all the more solidified whatever it was I believed about her.

When Maricel shared her sentiments about her fans, I felt closer to her like never before. “When I was younger, I was very detached with them or siguro I was so preoccupied with my work, my life, my problems, everything. I know they were just there. They like me, probably love me. Pero hindi ko nakuha ‘yun before. Hind ko na-grasp ‘yung importance ng friendship na puwede nila i-ffer sa akin. Na ‘yung unconditional love na binibigay nila sa akin, ‘yun ang pinapantayan ko ngayon. What's nice about it is now I know and they know that I know.”

Life is more than the glitter of award shows and golden statuettes. This was all Maricel was trying to tell us all. There is more to it than fancy clothes and trophies, like peace in your heart and confidence to claim your Creator knows you well. “I have already achieved the peace na hinahanap ko. I'm very peaceful now. Siyempre, there is another level or stage du'n sa peace na hinahanap ko,” she confides.

“Wala naming life na madali, eh. Whether you're in a castle or in a bahay kubo, it's still the same. It depends on how you're going to perceive things. Lahat tayo hindi tayo puwedeng mag-relax hangga't hindi pa natin natatapos ‘yung mission natin sa buhay. Pero hindi natin sa life. Puwede nating sabihing happy tayo pero kasi ‘yung joy, iba ‘yon sa happiness. You can only hope for that. Only God can change everything. He's the only one who can make miracles. Happy tayo ngayon.”

It is for this reason that Maricel learned the value of taking her work seriously. She has worked hard enough not just be able to pay the bills but to be a good steward of what was given her, cultivate her gifts to make people happy. That was her job, her calling, perhaps, her mission.

“Ang treatment ko, in general, is more of, it's a job,” she says. “It's a job. It's like what you do now. I don't know how dedicated you are to your job but I am.

“Once you're earning,” she continues, “you already have your responsibility. ‘Pag in-embrace to think of, first, pagpapasalamat sa Diyos dahil meron tayong trabaho. Ang hirap ng buhay at sitwasyon ng Pilipinas. Second, you have to take care of yourself, kasi if you want to help other people, you have to help yourself first.”

There was another thing about her I truly admired – her integrity. “May focus kasi ako eh,” she says. “Hindi ako pabago-bago. Hindi ako ‘yung ngayon oo, mamaya hindi. ‘Pag sinabi ko sa ‘yong oo, oo ‘yon. Puwede mong dalhin sa bangko ‘yung oo ko.”

Stardom is a myth. It gives people what they want – a show, a make-believe, a circus. It has actors playing gods they can look up to, playing clowns they can ridicule, and all sorts of disguises to entertain us. It has magic and fireworks, lies and deception, flickering lights and color.

But when the show is over and people go back to the real world, I would sit and be grateful Maricel Soriano talked to me without a mask on her face. Just her. Not a myth, not a legend. Just one of us.

Maricel Soriano's latest project is Vietnam Rose in which she plays “Karina” and co-stars with Jay Manalo and John Estrada . Directed by Joel Lamangan , the ABS-CBN soap drama is shot partly on location in Vietnam . (Articles lifted from S Magazine)
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