awn Zulueta reveals how, while waiting for the gift of motherhood, she is still blessed in every way.

The first time I met Dawn Zulueta nearly seven years ago, she was gingerly maneuvering a huge four-wheel drive-a Pajero, if I remember right-down a tight and tricky Mandaluyong parking a spot. For some reason of another, her driver had failed to show up, so she had to drive to the venue herself to make it on time for our scheduled bridal-themed shoot.

When she had finally managed to squeeze unscathed into the parking space, Dawn was breathless, a tad disheveled, and yet surprisingly free of pretense or annoyance at having to do things herself.

And that's not counting the fact that she was drop dead gorgeous: She had long flowing hair then, a super svelte, naturally skinny figure that was the rage during the early 90's (the waif look was definitely in), still very single despite the lacy wedding gown we'd made her wear-and was enchantingly talking about her preference for wearing a tiara to her own wedding, if ever she would have one..

Things have changed for the 34-year-old dusky-skinned doe-eyed beauty, of course-though she did have her own wedding to big-time Davao businessman Anton Lagdameo and she did get to wear the tiara (her-mother-in-law's), after all.

These days, Dawn is no longer the gangly, walf-like, long-haired lass we were familiar with back then-the one who was extremely driven as an actress and the epitome of glorious single hood. Dawn now sports a sexier physique, a short, pretty hairstyle, and an even prettier smile-one that's grown warmer, kinder, and even more sincere. Her whole aura, in fact, exudes happy serenity and surprisingly, a refreshing realness. Which prompts us into asking: Is this what a happy marriage brings?

Made for married life
I've never been happier," Dawn says, simply and contentedly. "I enjoyed being single, but there came a time when I also got tired of it."

Yes, she's mellowed, and become even friendlier-she's had, after all, six years of practice being normal and non-showbiz in Davao, where she's formed a tight circle of friends. It was also during this long hiatus form showbiz that Dawn pursued the things she had always wanted to do, but didn't have time for when she was still under the klieg lights. "I like creating, working with my hands," she says. "I have my crafts, and I organize and join bazaars in Davao. I enjoy that immensely." She's even tried her hand at creating trinkets and jewelry with semi-precious stones, also selling them in boutiquez and bazaars. On top of that, she decorated and redecorates the house, frequents flea markets, and surrounds herself with a lot of pets: three Shih Tzus, two Labradors, and a cockatiel bird named Paulie-some of whom she even brings along during her working trips to keep her company.

Time with Anton is as sweet and fuss-free as her bucolic lifestyle: On Sundays, they both wake up late, go to Mass, then go out for lunch. "We don't have any activity after that. We just go back home, plop ourselves on the bed, and watch VCDs or DVDs the whole afternoon. We eat and drink and sleep, and get up again, and see what's there to eat for dinner."

The rest of the week, Dawn herself cooks and prepares the meals. "I learned to cook, something I've never leaned to do when I was single," she says. "My husband is a masarap eater and he cooks too, so I had to learn." She's even mastered several cuisines, though it's her Middle Eastern dishes that stand out.

"Some people are made for marriage, and some people are just not," she muses. "I'm one of the former-I have to be with someone. I cannot imagine being alone for the rest of my life. I love sharing my life with another human being!"

Hence, she doesn't mind Anton constantly checks up on her on the days that they're apart-gently berating her used to after her wedding. "I was so used to being independent," she says. "Now I have to get used to answering to someone already-[asking] what time do you leave, what time will you get back. Someone's always worrying about you. And Anton worries. You can't be inconsiderate-you have make paalam."

In fact, it took a lot of convincing from Dawn for Anton to let her return to showbiz and accept acting projects again. "I miss working," Dawn admits. "When I got married six years ago, I changed my priorities and I wanted to experience first how it is to be married."

Career comeback
But showbiz is showbiz. Its bright light and excitement are indeed hard to resist-even for a celebrity like Dawn, whose fame during the 90s has risen to considerably mythic proportions. Though she's had a string of movies, she was certainly unforgettable after her performance with ex-boyfriend Richard Gomez in the Wuthering Heights-inspired Hihintayin Kita Sa Langit filmed in breathtaking Batanes.

"When I told my husband that I've been really wanting to do a movie if the right offer came, pinagbigyan niya na lang ako," Dawn says. "The only thing that he doesn't like is that I'm away from home-and it is far away from home."

It would have been different, Dawn says, if they were both living in Manila. But as it is, she has to go back and fourth Davao and Manila to fulfill her acting projects and her role as wife to Anton.

In the last two years, Dawn has tentatively been testing showbiz waters, initially through the game show, The Price Is Right on ABC-5. when that offer came two years ago, Dawn thought it was the perfect way for her to ease into Tinseltown once more. "Although I wanted to work, I wasn't keen on going back into the intrigue, and the hustle and bustle of showbiz," she says. "The game show was tamang-tama lang because I was just a host. So did that for a year." She was them offered to host GMA-7's lifestyle show All About You for once season. "It was close to my heart-I mean, being married already and a housewife, mas naiintindihan ko na everything to do with that lifestyle," she says.

And then the movie offer came, in the form of Viva Films' Filipinas-which Dawn declared is a great vehicle, hands down, for a comeback. For one, it was directed by Joel Lamangan who himself asked for her to play the role of Gloria, the Pinay caregiver who brings back the lifeless body of her friend killed in a terrorist attack in Israel. "I had been waiting for a long time already, but the offers weren't really that juicy-in terms of script," she relates. Plus, the movie also had he working with a stellar cst that included Maricel Soriano, former flame Richard Gomez (he plays her brother-the first time they don't play lovers), and Aiko Melendez.

She had also finished a once-a-week TV series with Christopher de Leon on the life of Mayor Lito Atienza, which aired from November until December last year.

All this have wrecked havoc on her once laid-back schedule, but Dawn, who has been leading a healthier lifestyle in the past years, insists that she doesn't work the ways she used to-long hours, with hardly any rest. "I cannot do that anymore. I need at least eight hours of rest. I'm usually in bed by 10 or 11, so working until late night is just 'no can do!' I now have set hours when I work, up to 12 hours only. Not like before, when I would just go one and one! Hindi na ngayon, and my husband wouldn't allow me anyway."

She could not say for sure what her plans are for this year, though, since she has to get approval form Anton before she can say yes to any other offers. "I don't know kung pagbibigyan niya ako ulit for the next project," she laughs. "My priority is not acting, it's still my husband. Second na lang ito. If I have spare time, and as long as it's okay with him, then I'll do it. But Anton has the last word, he has the last say."

Anton's authority
The way Dawn talks, you'd think that she has resigned herself to being the typical submissive wife. Dawn herself, however, who has been on her own for 10 to 12 years prior to getting married, continually sees the partnership as a welcome change. It is simply obvious that she highly respects Anton views-the way he respects her decision to dip her hand in showbiz again. "I'm a firm believer that a wife submits to what [her husband] wants," she confides. "Anton and I may not always agree on decisions, in as far as my work is concerned. But I still feel that I must submit to his authority."

She adds: It's part of it. That's why I got married-to share a life with someone, and every decision I make will affect him, the same way that every decision he makes will always affect me/"

What was the biggest surprise she discovered after marrying him? "Gee, some of it I cannot say!" she jokes. Turning serious, she confides: "He 's really seloso." Anton is more than a husband to her, however-he's like an old friend. What she truly loves about him is that "he's so loyal, so faithful. I don't think I was ever involved with a man that is as faithful and loyal as he is. He doesn't give me any reason to doubt."

By this time, Dawn and Anton will be in New York and various parts of US for a long vacation-their sort of "reward" for working so hard and keeping ultra hectic schedules in the last couple of months.

Praying for motherhood
Though it's been six year, Dawn feels that she and Anton are still in the honeymoon stage. "We're also taking advantage of the fact that we don't have kids yet," she discloses. "It makes things easier, like when we want to travel. It's easy to decide, to do things like that dahil wala ka pa naming iniisip na mga bata na maiiwan."

Not that she doesn't want kids-Dawn in fact, is quite open and candid about her wish to be blessed with children soon. "Things happen for a reason, she simply says, without any trace of defensiveness. "I believe that if God hasn't given us children yet, there is a good reason for that."

That subject of kids is perhaps one of the questions Dawn is most often asked these days-and she freely admits that it used to irritate her at first, during the initial two to three years of their marriage. "The older folks especially, they don't seem to know that we also want to have kids," she says, with a touch of exasperation. "But they just keep on asking!"

She's more than aware that she and Anton have become the odd couple (her words) among their friends, who are already with families and kids-they're the only ones who go to children's parties with no kids, as well as the only couple who doesn't have little ones in tow during out-of-town trips with their group of friends. "It would be nice to experience that," she says, wistfully. "[Life] could be more enriched when you have children. And I look forward to that."

She's far from feeling embittered, though, from the years of trying and waiting. From the interview, it's obvious how Dawn remains optimistic about their chances of having kids. "I'm the type of person that once the kids arrive, I will just focus on that. For sure, I will not have time for anything else!" she says good-naturedly. It was refreshing to see how she's grown to have a healthy attitude towards it, although she admits that she does have her ups and downs-days when she would wake up and feel that there's something "kulang" in her because she isn't a mother yet.

"Kung ganyan talaga, what are you going to do? Struggle with it? I'll just be wasting energy doing that," she declares. "And believe me-I've gone through that stage, when couldn't even go to a children's party because it would just depress me, because it would just remind me again that I'm trying here, and still, no kids yet.' I just stopped doing that already. And then, I got over it!"

She feels that society, though, puts too much pressure on women to have it all, kids included. "Women like us-whether we choose not to have kids yet, or can't have kids yet-really feel the pressure here," she says. "Why is I that only women with kids are put on a pedestal? You shouldn't be tagged as an incomplete women if you don't have kids."

Dawn would like to think that she's till being prepared by God, that she's "in process" of becoming an ideal parent. In the meantime, she refuses to put her life on hold, choosing instead to spend her time on more productive things, like working.

"Whatever enriches my soul and spirit, I'll do," she says. "Like spending time with my pamangkins, which I enjoy, and playing with the kids of my friends. I'll just keep on doing that. And I'll just look forward always to the time that one days, it'll happen." But what if it doesn't happen? "I'm just going learn how to appreciate that-that this is the life that God has given me," Dawn says matter-of-factly. Besides, she's not closed to the idea of adoption-which, she says, is always an option for them later on. "Anton and I, we just comfort each other with the thought that never mind, the kids will come," she says. He just take it a day at a time. God is there, and He knows what's right. He knows the best time for us."- -